Stay-at-Home Parents

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I don't know a parent who doesn't feel happy and sad at the same time to see another school year end.

Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that you were buying the big box of crayons, the "good" calculator and 27,000 folders to start out the year? The last day of school brings with it a slew of emotions - maybe a little bit of sadness to see the end of a lean, mean routine you've perfected; a little bit of happiness that you don't have to keep up that routine anymore; and amazement that your children are another year older, another grade finished.

The last day of school was always my favorite holiday. Years ago, I started throwing a last-day-of-school party and it became something of a neighborhood tradition. It was super casual, simple and put together at the last minute. The idea was to have a venue for parents, kids and their teachers to kick back and say "Yahoo!" together.

The kids would all play outside, burning off nine months worth of pent-up energy, while the adults sat and relaxed, talking about summer plans. One year it poured down rain, but that didn't stop the kids. They ran around in the downpour, playing slip-and-slide down a muddy hill and were as filthy as children can get. It somehow seemed a fitting activity for a last-day-of-school party.

Before you start planning the perfect summer for your children, treat them and yourself to an end-of-school bash. And then let the summer begin!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Things are crazy in May.

As it gets closer to the end of the school year, my list of things to do is growing to ridiculous proportions. There are the kids' end-of-year school projects and finals, both of which I feel compelled to help with. Spring sports are in high gear, and every club, group and team is having an end-of-year banquet. And before you know it, we'll be scrambling around for teacher gifts to send in on the last day.

I've decided this year to pick up a few gift cards for teachers to have on hand. I can quickly write a name on them, wrap a ribbon around them and send them to worthy recipients as I think of it - most likely at the last minute.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the craziness of May, remember, in another month you'll be celebrating the last day of school, packing your last lunch, quizzing your child on his last spelling quiz and checking your last backpack for the year.

Suite 101's Stay-at-Home Parents page has lots of ideas for you for summer. When you can stop to catch your breath, check out our take on summer camp, how to have the best summer, Car Trips With Kids, ideas for outdoor games, and how to have a summer camp at home.

But first, let's get through May!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Spring must be here. How do I know? The marching band plant sale is this week, my kids are starting to study for finals, and - oh, yes - every wastebasket in my house is full of scrunched up, used tissues.

I feel so sorry for kids with spring allergies. Spring is supposed to be full of anticipation of the end of school, the excitement of bringing the shorts and flip-flops to the forefront of the closet, and riding around with the car windows open.

Instead, we've closed up our house like Fort Knox and stocked up on Tylenol, eye drops, Benedryl and Allegra. I can't help but feel a little bit guilty when I get excited about seeing the trees budding and our neighbors mowing their lawns. Those things mean something very different to my kids, who suffer from allergies.

Suite 101 writer Venice Kichura offers some helpful advice to spring allergy sufferers in her article "Coping With Spring Allergies." If your child suffers from seasonal allergies, be sure to have his medication refilled and check expirations on inhalers and medicine, even over-the-counter products.

Be particularly sensitive to your school-age children and their performance in school. At this time of year, with state standardized testing, end-of-year projects due, and the dreaded finals, allergies and the medicine kids take to keep them at bay, can affect their academic performance.

Experts suggest parents be sure their children drink plenty of water, eat healthily, get lots of rest, and stay indoors as much as possible, at least until the season settles down.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

A recurring discussion at the Fitzpatrick family dinner table throughout the years has been this:

"Why do we have to do homework? Why is there even such a thing as homework? We do work all day in school and then the few spare minutes we have at home to do whatever we want, we have to do more school work. It's not fair. Our teachers expect way too much of us. What do they think we are? Homework machines?"

There are times that I agree with them. We've had teachers that handed out entirely too much homework and seemed to be unaware that they not only had five or six other classes to work on, but had lives outside of school. There were years where I hesitated to give my kids too many chores to do, I felt they were overburdened enough with homework.

For the most part, I've tried to encouraged them to just do it. Rearrange your schedule, use your time wisely, be prepared, and stop complaining and just do the homework. Your grades will improve, you'll be better prepared for tests, and before you know it, the year will be over and you'll have another teacher who might go a little easier on you.

It helps when parents create the right kind of atmosphere for getting homework done. Set aside a nice, quiet place for your kids to do homework and keep yourself nearby - making dinner, reading or doing some homework of your own. Be there for when they need someone to proofread a paper, answer a question, or quiz them on vocab or spelling words.

Let them vent to you about their homework complaints, but after they get it out of their systems, help them get back to work.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

My kids aren't making their beds again.

We started out the school year on a high note: with me giving them a lecture/pep talk/inspirational speech about how awesome my life would be if they made their beds before they left for school.

For the first few weeks, they did wonderfully. They not only made their beds, but they picked up their clothes off the floor, hung up their towels, and put the cap on the toothpaste.

By early October, however, they started to let certain things go, until by January, I was back to making the beds and doing everything else. So I repeat my lecture/pep talk/inspirational speech and the dance continues.

The parents I admire most are the ones who have clear, consise rules about what chores their kids are responsible for and specific consequences when they fail to do them. These kinds of parents are the most together people on earth, in my opinion.

My friend Leslie has a rule that no one leaves the kitchen after dinner until the entire kitchen is cleaned up, the dish washer is loaded, the table cleared off, the food put away, and the counters wiped off. It seems everyone's in such a hurry to get the heck out of that crowded room, that her kitchen gets cleaned up super fast. She's in front of the TV knitting before she knows it.

Do you have a system for getting kids to do their chores that works for your family? Share it with us on the Stay-at-Home Parents' discussion board.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Baby bottles and white out. Pacifiers and paper clips. Blackberries and baby monitors. Annual reports and easy readers.

The work-at-home, stay-at-home parent is living in two worlds simultaneously. Juggling tasks for vastly different roles, the work-at-home parent is the queen of the multi-taskers.

It's easy to get overwhelmed. Trying to be professional while at the same time being a good parent is a constant crossroads - you're routinely asked to choose between spending time on work and spending time with your kids.

If you work from home, you've probably already come up with a system to keep all your irons in the fire and tended to. You probably already use your children's naps and quiet times to get as much work done as possible. And you most likely appreciate the value of staying on schedule and being the happy slave to a routine, so that when you lay your head down at the end of a long, stressful day, you can say you did it all and you did it well.

Childproofing your office is essential to keeping your children and your work safe. It takes time to put your work away instead of leaving it out, but it's worth it to know it's kept away from little hands.

As a work-at-home parent, don't let Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day pass you by. Plan some activities to help your children learn and appreciate what you do for a living. They may see you work every day, but still not know exactly what your job entails.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

The debate over whether preschool is necessary for children to be successful in school is interesting to me. There are parents who swear it’s a godsend for them and their kids. There are homeschool proponents who say keep ‘em home as long as you can.

I played the middle of the road with my own children. They went to preschool, but only for a year, and only three days a week for what seemed like a few minutes (not enough time to get any grocery shopping done).

I tried to enroll my second son in a trendy, prestigious preschool when he was almost 3 and I was told he was way too old to learn the signature teaching methods. “That ship has sailed,” I was told in so many words.

“Oh, great,” I told my husband. “How’s he ever going to get into Harvard if he can’t even get into the right preschool?”

I turned to my son, who was squishing a glue stick between his fingers. “It’s Burger King trainee for you.”

We continued along the path we had been on, which was me being the teacher and the kids taking nature hikes, rolling down hills, making scented homemade play-dough, putting on plays, and going to library story hours and playgroups.

I still can’t say that what we did was right for everyone. Every family has its own likes and dislikes, preferences and needs. Some children love and want to go to preschool and others prefer Mom’s lap.

So the debate over the necessity of preschool continues and the kids somehow all successfully make it through first grade . . . middle school . . . high school graduation . . .

And some even make it past Burger King trainee all the way to Harvard.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Don't tell my kids, but we're going to spend Sunday evening playing Apples to Apples, a new game I just picked up at Target. They'll moan and groan, but they'll put their behinds into a dining room chair after dinner and play the game with me. By the end of the night, they'll be not only glad I made them play, they'll want to do it again.

Last weekend I chaperoned a neighborhood teen group social and some kids were playing Apples to Apples and I absolutely fell in love with the game. It's easy, fun, silly, and the most addicting game since Pictionary.

Games are coming back in families. Tired of noisy electronics, more families are turning off the TV, getting back to basics, and opening a box or some cards and playing together.

We used to play more games together when my kids were younger. We still have well worn boxes repaired with masking tape and rubber-banded together of Monopoly, Facts In Five, Dominoes, Chutes and Ladders, Masterpiece, Battleship, Trivial Pursuit and other classics. And we have some fad games, too, like Jumanji, which I could never get, and Ask Zandar, complete with a talking wizard in a crystal ball.

Over the years, we've gotten away from board games. But that's all going to change on Sunday, when, after dinner dishes are done, I'm going to whip out Apples to Apples and say, "Who wants to play a game?" That will probably be followed by, "Oh, yes you do," "Get over here," "Hey! Unlock that door!" and "You'll play this game and like it, or you're grounded!"

Nah, they'll play. We'll have a great time and before you know it, they'll be putting new batteries in Zandar.

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

I was out of town with my family this past week and we ate almost every meal in restaurants. Normally, we don't eat out a lot. I prefer home cooking, even if I have to cook it myself, and my husband and kids have gotten used to the way I make things. No one complains if we go weeks without fast food or restaurant fare.

So going to restaurant after restaurant was kind of a kick for me. I started to notice the babies and toddlers, the high chairs, booster seats, snap-on chairs and babes in arms. Things sure have changed since our first baby was born. I felt so self-conscious laying out all the equipment and acoutrements, digging out the bib, baby food, bottles . . . By the third child I was an expert, but the early days were tough.

In our last night away, my daughter and I purposefully sat down in the restaurant where we could get full view of the most adorable little girl. She spent an hour throwing down whatever was put in front of her, so her big brother would fetch it. It reminded me of my son, at about a year old, running his Matchbox car through his applesauce and then giving it the old heave-ho, right into the next booth, where a young couple was obviously on a date. Splat. (I think we may have prevented an early marriage or teen pregnancy that night.)

We all know that life doesn't stop when you have kids, so taking your children to restaurants is par for the course. If you don't have kids, get used to seeing them. They're everywhere. And if you have kids, by all means, take them with you to the restaurant. We'll be on the look-out for your cute babies!

Posted by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick

Are you ready for Easter? Well, you better be, because it arrives early this year. If you celebrate Easter, you should at least have a rough idea of where the Easter baskets are, know if the kids can still fit into their dress shoes - you know, the ones they haven't worn since Christmas - and get vinegar on your shopping list - you know, for coloring eggs.

If Easter snuck up on you this year, never fear. Suite 101 writers have been working hard to come up with the best and brightest ideas for celebrating Easter.

Easter Activities for Children has some fun ideas, including making windsocks and Easter bonnets.

Creative Easter Egg Decorating will have you digging through your craft supplies to try some new things with Easter eggs this year.

Want to take a more natural approach? Check out Coloring Eggs With Natural Dyes.

There's still time to get the whole neighborhood involved in an Easter Egg Hunt, with fun, games and snacks. For more ideas, see Mary McCarthy's Creative Easter Egg Hunts.

Try making the carrot treat holder in Cute Easter Crafts for Kids.