You just had a baby and while it was decided that it would be best that you work while the other stays at home you soon begin to feel isolated from your family.
It isn't long before resentment can begin to take place for both parents as each spends all day working hard. The stay-at -home parent may feel that their spouse is lucky for being able to get away and have some kind of social life even if it is just at work. Meanwhile, the working parent wishes they could be at home with their baby so as to not miss a moment of their life.
Both views are legitimate and need acknowledgement in order to successfully ensure the happiness and understanding of each other's role.
Isolation for both parents is perfectly normal. The stay-at-home parent finds themselves suddenly detached from their previous life as their friends and family are at work or busy with their own children.
The working parent finds that he or she is missing out on the first year of their child's life and may even feel guilty for not being at home to help their spouse during the hardest and longest first few months of their baby's life.
Whatever you are feeling there are steps that you can take to help alleviate these feelings and build a stronger relationship with your partner and indeed with your baby.
Express Yourself
Expressing your feelings to each other is healthy and a must if you want to help each other understand what it is you both need and expect from one another. Talk about your day and be supportive of each other's feelings. Don't be afraid to share your fears and your unhappiness. By revealing your insecurities and fears you are in fact helping bridge a gap that has resulted from your different roles.
Another important step to take is to reassure each other of the importance of the role you are both doing. It can be in both the form of a compliment or a gesture. Taking pictures of the baby during the day, especially when he or she is learning to make important leaps and bounds in their growth is a great way to ensure that the working parent can feel connected to his or her child's progression.
Show your appreciation by running a hot bath, taking on extra duties around the house and simply by telling your stay-at-home partner that they are doing a fantastic job can only help them feel appreciated.
Quality Baby Time
Making time with your new baby is also the best way of not only bonding with him or her but also it will give your partner a chance to be someone other than a parent! Here are just a few obvious ways of achieving both while also giving you a chance to be a hands on parent.
· Take your showers or baths with your baby.
Babies generally love to bath or shower with their parent, especially one who is away at work all day. It gives them a chance to spend time with you that normally entails you spending yet another twenty minutes away from your precious little one.
· Do your house chores with your baby.
Babies love watching you do everything and housework is no exception. By purchasing a sling and having the baby tied directly to your chest or back and going about your duties you are allowing your baby to be a part of your daily routine.
· Bring your baby grocery shopping with you.
This may seem obvious. However the idea here is to go grocery shopping alone with your baby. By using a sling and talking to your baby while you shop you are actually giving your baby invaluable time with you and are helping your baby's development through this interaction.
These three things may seem mundane; however to your baby every experience is new and exciting. They get to see you in action and being great imitators babies will inevitably learn from watching you. Your baby will come to depend on these routines as much as you will in order to successfully feel like you are taking a hand on approach to parenting.
Furthermore you are giving your stay at home partner a chance to be something other than just a parent. In return they will undoubtedly appreciate your initiative and help in being not only a great parent but also a great partner!
