Many parents are stumped and become unsure of what to do when their small children ask questions such as “How are babies made?”, “How does the baby grow in Mummy’s tummy?” or “How does the baby come out?”.
These questions usually arise if Mum or someone close to the family is pregnant, or because the child has seen something about pregnancy and babies at school, on TV and in the newspapers and magazines.
When faced with these rather profound questions, it’s best not to duck these issues, advises Dr. Miriam Stoppard, parenting expert and author of Questions Children Ask [London: Dorling Kindersley, 2002].
“Don’t shrink from telling your child the truth. You owe your child an honest and open answer without any fear of being embarrassed,” she says. However, she also cautions against giving a detailed explanation to the child who may be frightened by what he can’t quite understand yet.“It is only after about the age of eight that most children can understand the complicated mechanics of sex,” she adds.
So what’s a parent to do? Here are some suggestions from Stoppard on how to answer frequently asked birth-related questions from preschoolers.
Questions on How Babies are Made
Tell the child that stories of storks bringing babies are just that – stories. It’s okay to say babies are made from a seed from Dad and an egg from Mum. The seed and egg then join together in a special place called a womb inside Mum’s tummy and form a baby. All babies are special and are a beautiful mixture of both Mum and Dad.
Do note that the child may take your words literally and ask how the seed will be planted or if there will be any flower growing from it! In such a case, Mum or Dad will have to say that those are special seed and egg different from what the child usually sees. The child may also find the explanation a little revolting and respond with a loud “Yuck!”. That’s a cue he is not ready to hear anything sexual anymore. Stop and try to talk about it another time.
Questions on How a Baby Grows inside Mum
A child may wonder how a baby lives and grows inside somebody’s body. He may even wonder how the baby manages to stay inside without falling out! Tell the child the baby grows inside the womb and it won’t fall out because the bottom of the womb stays shut until the baby is ready to come out.
And yes, the baby moves, kicks, sucks its thumb and rests, just like babies already born. However, it doesn’t need to eat or drink because food comes to the baby through a special tube that connects its tummy to its mother. The belly button is where the tube used to be connected.
To make things easier for the child to understand, use illustrations from a pregnancy book to show how a baby grows inside the womb week by week. Turn it into a simple and useful anatomy lesson.
Questions on How Babies Get out of the Womb
Children are imaginative and will often try to guess how a baby comes out of its mother’s womb. Explain that when the baby grows too big and needs more food than it can get from its mother inside the womb, it’s time for it to be born. There is a hole at the bottom of the womb that will stretch open and strong muscles in the womb will push the baby out.
If possible, take the child to see a pet dog or cat that has just delivered puppies or kittens. That will give him some idea. Again, using illustrations from a pregnancy book will help too. If the child asks about pain during birth, assure the child it is only temporary and that the doctor can give medicine to make the pain go away if there is a need.
Don’t dread young children asking questions about birth and babies. After all, their interest is innocent and arises out of their desire to know more about themselves. Be honest and keep things simple when answering these questions.
Those who find this article useful may also be interested to read about Sex Education for Young Kids.
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