For young kids who spend most of their time at home with Mum, meeting someone new can be quite distressing. Upon the first meeting with a visitor, a shy child may cower or hide under the table, much to the embarrassment of his parents and possibly the visitor too.
To spare everyone discomfort and embarrassment, parents of shy children can prepare the kids before they meet someone new.
Talk about the Visitor
Parents who know of an impending visit from a relative or friend can talk to the child about the visitor. If there are photos of the person, show them to the child. Tell the child what the person is like. Say good things about the visitor. If the child and the visitor have something in common, for instance they both like cats and roses, emphasize that to breed familiarity.
Role-play Meeting New People
Role-playing can help parents and their children go through common situations, including meeting new people. To start off, Mum can play the child and the child the visitor. Act out different ways in which the child and the “visitor” may interact with each other. There is no pressure during role-playing. So the child will feel more at ease. The more parents and children practice role-play, the more prepared and comfortable the child is when meeting someone new.
Prepare the Visitor
It is also a good idea to prepare the visitor before she arrives. Tell her about the child’s shyness and the possibility of the child feeling overwhelmed during the first meeting. So it would be nice if she could just give the child a little space and time to get used to having the visitor around. If the visitor is planning to give the child a gift, let the visitor know what item the child would really love to have. Alternatively, Mum can buy something that the child likes and give it to the visitor to present to the child.
Avoid Eye Contact
Making eye contact is important when meeting someone for the first time. However, for shy children, direct eye contact with a stranger can be intimidating. Teach the child to look at other parts of the person’s face, for instance the mouth, forehead or chin, instead of the eyes when introductions are made. That way, the child will not be so overwhelmed and the visitor will feel comfortable too.
Mum Acts Shy
If the introductions are not going so well, Mum can act shy to improve the situation. Hide behind the child instead of letting the child hide behind Mum. The craziness of the situation may make him laugh, breaking the ice. Once that happens, it’s easy to get him to say hello. Mum acting shy is a good strategy if the meeting is not planned.
Parents of shy children can help children get over the anxiety of meeting someone new with a little preparation. Before the meeting occurs, talk to the child about the visitor, role-play meeting new people and prepare the visitor ahead of time. Teach the child to look at other parts of the stranger’s face if making eye contact is too much for him. Mum can also act shy and silly to make the child feel more comfortable in the stranger’s presence.
Found this article useful? Read also How Children can Make Friends, Helping Lonely Children Make Friends and Overcoming Shyness in Children.
References:
Borgenicht, David and Grace, James. How to Con Your Kid. Philadelphia: Quirk Books, 2005
Dr. Green, Christopher. Beyond Toddlerdom: Keeping Five to Twelve-year-olds on the Rails. Australia: Doubleday, 2000.
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