Parenting Help on Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom

Parenting Tips on Emotional Adjustments for Staying Home with Kids

© Marcy Paulson

May 17, 2009
New stay at home moms experience feelings of isolation, draining days with kids, and changing self images. Here's parenting advice to help smooth the transition.

As new stay at home moms, women are bound to encounter a wide array of emotions and adjustments in their role. Just like their first weeks in any career, they should give themselves time to figure out the ropes. They’ll certainly experience the treasured moments with their kids, and shouldn’t worry if they encounter a few challenging moments as well. It all goes with the territory.

Parenting Help Adjusting to the Feeling of Isolation

Most new stay at home moms report feeling extremely lonely and isolated. They’ll experience moments where they absolutely crave contact from another adult.

It’s crucial that moms take charge of the situation early. They can research organizations supporting stay at home moms to determine which have established chapters in the area and join. Many stay at home moms chat with moms online through message boards to fill their need for adult contact. And it’s still possible to meet moms the old fashioned way by bundling up the kids and heading for the park, library, or playground.

Once new stay at home moms hit it off with another mom and the kids seem to be playing well together, they can suggest a follow-up play date. This may seem overwhelming for moms who are shy or introverted, but once they take the plunge, they’ll see other moms are wanting to build relationships just as desperately.

Parenting Advice on Adjusting to Life with Kids

Any stay at home mom will admit life with kids 24-7 is draining. New stay at home moms may need a few weeks to develop rhythms and routines to their days, as well as their physical and mental staminas. Additionally, if stay at home moms came from a workplace environment where most aspects of the job were quiet, regular, and able to be controlled, they may be unprepared for the unpredictability of their new role.

Stay at home moms naturally develop routines for their day and expectations for their children, but this takes time. They shouldn’t be too hard on themselves during the first exhausting weeks.

Parenting Help for Adjusting to a New Self Image

On top of all this, new stay at home moms will probably feel a torrent of conflicting emotions as they create new identities for themselves. Unconsciously, they may have attached a good deal of their self worth to the careers they left behind. Curious strangers who question, “So, what do you do?” may unconsciously trigger a new stay-at-home mom’s fight-flight instinct.

New stay at home moms should give themselves time and permission to deal with the feelings of anger, loss, or regret that go along with the transition. As they share with other moms, they’ll build new and exciting visions for themselves. When new stay-at-home moms are ready, they may find added purpose in exploring ways to use their talents or background experience to work from home. They might also gain a sense of accomplishment through volunteering in the community and setting an example for their children.

No life-changing transition is easy, but by knowing what to expect and giving themselves time to adjust, they remove a good many of the most difficult obstacles ahead. Women contemplating this decision may also be interested to explore the financial budgeting adjustments stay at home moms experience during the first months.


The copyright of the article Parenting Help on Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom in Stay-at-Home Parents is owned by Marcy Paulson. Permission to republish Parenting Help on Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.




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