With a variety of reasons behind this, the most common would appear to be that the social stigma around men giving up work to raise a family is slowly diminishing, if not already a thing of the past.
More fathers are becoming more involved in what has been historically considered as "women’s responsibilities". Hilary Pereira, an ivillage writer addressing the topic of stay-at-home dads, considers these sorts of activities to include attending children centres, nursery’s, schools, and the general day to day running of the family home.
Regardless of who decides to remain at home and take up the role of "stay-at-home parent", there are a number of common traits that both male and female parents should possess in order to provide the best for their children.
Good Enough Parenting
Regardless of the dynamics of a household, the important thing to consider is that children need to develop, and will do so in a number of ways. The Department of Health’s Framework for the Assessment of Children in Need and their Families (2000) suggests that parenting is an integral concept in the development of a child. As long as a parent ensures safety, emotional warmth, stimulation, guidance and boundaries, and stability, he or she will be fulfilling the parenting aspect of child development.
Ensure Safety
The concept of safety has to be addressed primarily, as it is one of the most important factors to consider when determining how to be the best stay-home dad you can be. The term safety is pretty self explanatory, and is concerned with the general protection of your children. This includes protection while in and out of the family home, and also involves protecting your children from any potential harm that could occur by being around other people/ adults.
Emotional Warmth
To provide emotional warmth means to ensure your children’s emotional needs are met. In his book, Verbal Behavior [Copley Publishing Group, 1957] psychologist B.F. Skinner identified this to includes appropriate sensitivity, love, and positive reinforcement. It’s easy to dwell on the negatives, however by highlighting the positives, and giving support and praise to your children, this will be the correct stepping stone in order for you to give them the emotional warmth they consciously or even subconsciously desire.
Provide Stimulation
Taking the responsibility for your child’s learning pre-or even post-starting school is a key to stimulation. Even as tiny babies, your children are trying to make sense of the world they live in, and you play a larger part than you think. Even though babies may not be able to understand what you’re saying, they can pick up on how you might be feeling. Furthermore, by giving your children praise, as well as expanding their horizons through learning, play and communication, you will be succeeding towards your goal of being a good stay-at-home dad.
Guidance and Boundaries
The key to ensuring that you provide sufficient guidance and clear boundaries is discipline. This does not mean punishment, however it does require you to set clear boundaries so that you and your children know each other’s limits. You need to be firm in this approach, as if you slip out of routine, or give in to unreasonable demands, you will have lost ground that will be twice as difficult to regain.
Stability Through Learning
This speaks for itself, as the stability you show to your children will have a knock on effect to how stable they will become in their lives. Social learning theory, specifically the work of Albert Bandura (Social Learning Theory, General Learning Press,1977), suggests that behaviour can be learned through observing others.
As a stay-home dad, you will have a major impact on your children’s lives, and they will look at you as a role model. If they see (both consciously and unconsciously) that you are providing a stable family environment to them, not only will their development be upheld, but you will also be teaching them stability, which in turn will benefit their family lives at a later stage.
Regardless of what changes have taken place in society in regards to stay-at-home dads, the fact of the matter is that any parent who stays at home to provide care for his or her children will be primarily responsible for his or her children’s development.
If this is so, parents will be responsible for ensuring their children’s safety, stability, guidance and boundaries, stimulation and emotional warmth. Once these basic, yet essential needs have been taken care of, you will be well on your way to becoming a great stay-at-home dad.
*Facts on the numbers of stay-at-home dads are from Wales Online.co.uk.
