Tips for Would-be Stay-at-Home Parents

What Mums and Dads can Expect if They Choose to Stay Home for Kids

Nov 12, 2008

Money, isolation, fatigue and support from family are some issues to think about before one decides to be a stay-at-home parent.

Staying at home to raise children is one of the most rewarding and challenging jobs anyone can have. Some excel at it while others find it a tough juggling act. Those who haven’t tried devoting all their time to their children and family at home often have no inkling of what it really is like. Here are some of the important things to consider for would-be stay-at-home parents.

The Family’s Financial State

Not surprisingly, this is the first concern for many families since most are double income families these days. The switch to a single income can be tough. However, with rising childcare costs, having a parent at home for the first few years of a child’s life may be a good idea. Still, there are many changes that need to take place – eating out less, cutting down on holidays, spending less on optional items like clothes and shoes, using credit cards wisely, etc.

Another important thing to keep in mind is retirement handling. This is probably not an issue if the stay-at-home parent is going to remain unemployed for only a year or two. However, if he or she is staying home for many years, the family must have a proper retirement plan for both partners.

Working from Home

Some parents work from home or start a small home business to supplement the family’s income. This is great if such jobs are available, but they are often hard to come by. Starting a home business is easier said than done. Both options require the same commitment and dedication like any other jobs outside the home for them to succeed. If a parent is spending too much time working from home or running the home business to the point of neglecting the children, it defeats the purpose of staying home for the kids in the first place.

Loss of Accomplishment

This is a real issue, especially if the parent has had a fulfilling and successful career prior. The change from the boardroom to the playroom can be quite a shock. Some may find handling difficult clients a walk in the park compared to soothing a crying baby while trying to prepare dinner and clean up the house. Also, there are no appraisal, no salary increment and definitely no job promotion for the stay-at-home parent. Put bluntly, it is a thankless job most times.

Isolation

Being confined to the home with children most of the time also means being cut out from the outside world. Gone are the stimulating discussions on fashion, world economy, politics, sports, etc, with colleagues and friends. That’s why it’s important for stay-at-home parents to join playgroups or parent groups so that they are connected to others with similar interests and backgrounds.

Fatigue

Staying at home for the kids is exhausting – physically, mentally and emotionally. It’s akin to being on call 24/7. There are no weekends, no holidays and working around the clock is the norm. Even a trip to the toilet can be a luxury if there are a couple of wailing children and piles of dirty laundry to be done at the same time! To beat fatigue, it’s important that stay-at-home parents make time for themselves every now and then.

Support from Family

The spouse who works outside the home should give as much support and help possible to the one that stays home for the kids. Just because the latter isn’t generating any income doesn’t mean she is not doing her part. In fact, her role is equally important, if not more important than the working spouse’s.

Other family members such as grandparents, aunts and older children can contribute by helping with childcare and house work from time to time as well.

It takes a lot of hard work and commitment to be an effective stay-at-home parent. So be prepared to face financial challenges, lack of accomplishment, isolation and fatigue when one finally gets into that role. Working from home can help supplement the family income but there should be a balance between work and kids. And finally, there should also be support from the spouse and other family members for the stay-at-home parent to do her job well.

The copyright of the article Tips for Would-be Stay-at-Home Parents in Stay-at-Home Parents is owned by Wei Yin Wong. Permission to republish Tips for Would-be Stay-at-Home Parents in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.