Teaching Children Tolerance and Acceptance
Raising Kids to Live Without Prejudice and Discrimination
Dec 24, 2008
Generally, children are not born with prejudices. Just observe a group of preschoolers or children under six from various cultural, racial and religious backgrounds playing together. Chances are, they don’t seem to mind the differences between them. However, they do notice that they have different skin colors and may talk, dress and eat differently.
And that’s when children will bombard their parents with questions like “Why is Adam’s skin brown?”, “What does racism mean?”, ”Why doesn’t Yoko go to church on Sundays?, ”What’s wrong with Johnny’s legs?” and “Are boys smarter than girls?”.
Dr. Miriam Stoppard, parenting expert and author of Questions Children Ask [London: Dorling Kindersley, 1997], says the basis of the answers to questions about differences is that everyone is the same inside, regardless of what appears outside. Here are some tips from Stoppard.
Questions About God and Religious Differences
Even if parents are non-believers in God, they still need to explain what God means. The main thing to remember is that God is love – not a person, not black or white and not man or woman – and that God is everywhere.
There are also many different gods and religions because people live in different places around the world and they develop different ideas of God and even worship many forms of gods. Ultimately, all religious teachings stress on love, peace and doing good things. That’s why it’s important to practice religious tolerance.
Questions About Racial and Cultural Differences
Children don’t worry about racial and cultural differences until they pick up racist remarks from adults or the mass media. When a child asks why some people have different skin and hair colors, just say that people from different countries often have different appearances. Stoppard suggests using animals such birds with different appearances as examples. The important message is that people are the same no matter how or what they look like.
Parents can also explain that racism is wrong and that some people are racists because they are frightened or ignorant of other races. “Don’t ever encourage prejudice in your child by running down or making fun of other groups on grounds of race, dress of color of skin. If you have prejudices, spare your child,” says Stoppard.
Questions About Physical Disabilities in Others
When a child ask questions about adults or children with disabilities, he is usually merely curious and probably wants to know how the disabilities came about or if the disabilities could happen to him. Even if you’re mortified that your child asks such questions loudly, try to give honest answers.
Explain that the disabilities can be a result of accidents before, during and after birth. But having disabilities doesn’t mean a person can’t do things that other able-bodied people do. With the right care, education, training and facilities, many disabled people can overcome their disabilities and have happy lives, including working, getting married and having children.
Again, parents must stress that people with disabilities deserve the same kind of respect and rights from others. Having disabilities doesn’t make them inferior in any way, just different. It’s important to teach children to be kind, helpful and considerate to people with disabilities.
Questions About Gender Prejudices
Often, boys and girls will argue about who is better, stronger and smarter. Children may also catch glimpses of some communities where men and boys are considered more superior than women and girls.
Explain that men and women are created differently with different strengths but they generally complement each other. The family unit is one good example. In some families, mum and dad both go to work and share household responsibilities while in others, dad goes to work while mum takes care of the children and housework. But no matter what roles they take on, both mum and dad have equally important jobs.
Also, teach children from young that equal opportunities should be given to boys and girls. And start within your own family. Parents with both sons and daughters should treat and love them as equals.
Those who find this article useful may also be interested to read about Teaching Children Kindness and Empathy.
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