Parenting Alone
Coping as a Stay-at-Home Parent When Your Partner is Away
Being a stay-at-home parent when your partner is traveling can be difficult and lonely, but it doesn't have to be such a stressful experience.
If you are a stay-at-home parent you are probably already used to long days and long nights, feeling like you are "on call" 24 hours a day. When your partner is away, those days and nights can melt into one never ending shift that fills you with stress and drains away every ounce of your energy. Whether you will be going it alone for a night or a month, here are some ideas to help you get through your solo flight.
Pace Yourself
Try to avoid taking on more than you need to when you are on your own. If you work from home, this isn't an ideal time to accept a big contract with a tight deadline. It's not such a great time to volunteer to babysit all six of your young nieces and nephews either. Think of yourself as running a marathon; you need to keep up a steady momentum to last to the end.
Plan Fun Activities
Get out of the house and go to the aquarium, swimming pool, library, drop-in centers or playgroups. These adventures are fun for your child and give structure to your days. Sometimes it can seem like more effort to co-ordinate outings than you think it's worth, but staying in all day can make the days seem endlessly long and difficult.
Eat Balanced Meals
When it's just you and the kids the pizza delivery option can seem very attractive at dinnertime, especially when you are tired from the day and still have to face the prospect of cooking, cleaning up and getting the kids to bed without any help. But subsisting on take-out and frozen dinners will leave you with less energy in the long run.
Take Time for Yourself
After the little ones are in bed, make sure to do something nice for yourself. Take a bath, read a book, watch your favorite show. As long as you have some clean dishes and clothes for the next day, the housework can wait.
Connect with Your Partner
A daily phone conversation, especially at the end of the day, can go a long way towards easing feelings of loneliness and abandonment. Remind yourself that the situation is only temporary, no matter how long, and you will eventually be a co-parent again. A daily phone call is a great opportunity to share those cute things your child did that day with someone who really understands.
As is the case with many things, often the prospect of being the sole parent while your partner is away is often more daunting than the reality. Fears of getting sick, breaking an ankle or being in a car accident without having access to the support and extra childcare your partner provides can be scary, but these events are usually unlikely. Just in case, though, it can be helpful to have a trusted friend or neighbor in your support network whom you can call if something out of the ordinary does happen while you are on your own.
