If you're struggling to exercise your body, maybe the most important change you can make is in your mind.
Parenthood does a number on your body. After nine months of steady weight gain followed by the most excruciating pain of our lives, moms are left with flabby stomachs and doughy thighs and little time to get back into shape. Even if you haven't experienced pregnancy or childbirth, staying home with small children places tremendous demands on your time and energy. You're probably eating more and sleeping less than you did before having kids, and you're noticing the effects on your body.
You've no doubt read suggestions about fitting exercise into your busy life, and many of them seem quite feasible. The problem is, most how-to articles don't acknowledge the mental resistance, emotional slumps, self-image issues, and overall exhaustion that may prevent us from adopting sensible fitness advice.
Try these mental exercises to transform your physical exercise routine.
View exercise as "me time." If you long to get out of the house, consider joining a gym. For moms, a women's fitness club like Curves or Ladies' Workout Express can be a place to connect with other women as you complete a half-hour exercise circuit. Depending on the club, a variety of other workout options will keep you from getting bored, and childcare may be available. If club membership isn't for you, get out of the house for a half-hour walk a few times a week. Look forward to the opportunity to clear your head as you exercise your body. Janet Holm McHenry's PrayerWalk describes how walking can foster spiritual reflection and growth. Or walk with a friend or group of parents in your neighborhood. You'll enjoy each other's company and keep each other motivated. Whatever form of exercise you choose, the idea is to find an activity and venue that address a deeper need, such as the desire for companionship or quiet.
Adjust your expectations. Whether or not you were a fitness junkie before parenthood, you may assume exercise has to be strenuous and time-consuming to make a difference. In fact, a half-hour walk five times a week can have significant health benefits. If exercising five days a week is unrealistic right now, aim for three. Look for little changes that add up, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator and parking farther from store entrances. All-or-none thinking can tempt us to throw in the towel if we can't manage daily, hour-long workouts. But any amount of exercise is better than none at all, and recognizing a small accomplishment can motivate us to take on bigger challenges down the road.
Enjoy playtime with your kids. Nobody has to tell you that kids love movement. If you're like me, you often respond by trying to keep them still or using their playtime to tend to your own work. But playing with your kids is an opportunity to build their confidence, foster social skills, enhance communication, promote fine and gross motor skills development, feed creativity, and strengthen the parent-child bond. The nonprofit organization Playing for Keeps offers ideas for incorporating play into your daily routine in ways that are enjoyable to both children and parents. For example, get down on the ground and place a toy just out of your baby's reach so she can stretch out and try to touch it. Or go on a "twin hunt" with your preschooler, taking a box containing items like leaves, twigs, and rocks and helping him find a twin for each item. The physical benefit for you is that most play automatically involves movement.
Try something new. Did you grow up thinking you weren't athletic? Is biking or ballroom dancing the last thing you can see yourself doing? Maybe it's time to reconsider your assumptions. Identify a physical activity you haven't tried but think you might enjoy. Now determine your first step in learning that activity. If you'd like to try bellydancing, why not check a video out of the library? (Watch the Stay-at-Home Parents page for an article rating various fitness videos.) If inline skating appeals to you, take the whole family to a park and give it a try. Or rent a tandem bike for a fun date with your spouse. Even if the particular activity doesn't stick, taking on new challenges will build your confidence and contribute to a lifestyle of fitness.
Examine your motives. Exercise can increase your stamina, reduce your aches and pains, improve your mood, and prolong your life. But if we're honest, many of us want first and foremost to lose weight and look more like the celebrity parents photographed in our favorite magazines - or at least more like the mother down the street who seems to have it all together. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look our best, but a negative self-image can counteract a desire to exercise. We may fear looking foolish wearing workout clothes and sweating through an exercise routine. When physical activity doesn't yield rapid weight loss, we may give up in discouragement. Exercising for health, on the other hand, brings almost immediate rewards in the form of increased energy and elevated mood. And keeping long-term health benefits in mind, rather than deciding whether to exercise based on current body image, leads to long-term consistency. Furthermore, you and everyone in your family will benefit from your health gains, but everyone suffers when you obsess over physical "flaws." For more thoughts on stay-at-home parents and body image, read "A Mom's Self-Image," my article on creating a body-positive media experience.
