Child-free Time Essential to Stay at Home Moms
Both Mom and Child Benefit from Time Alone
Mar 20, 2009
With the recent downturn in the economy, many moms are getting the chance to realize the joys of being at home with their children. According to an article on MSNBC.com entitled, “Some Laid-off Women Now Stay-at-home Moms”, nearly 800,000 women have been laid off from their current employment. For some, this is the first time they have taken on the day to day care of the children.
While these women are realizing the advantages that stay-at-home moms have known all along, they are also experiencing some of the hardships. Lack of time is often the biggest complaint. Moms who stay home with their children find it necessary to put their personal development on hold. Instead of taking time to work on goals, career advancement or personal growth, they dedicate all of their resources to the upbringing of their children.
Teaching Children to be Self Sufficient
Stay at home moms cherish the time they have with their children to help sort out problems or share in the high points of the day, but they need time to work on promoting themselves. Many moms, motivated by guilt and an improper understanding of child behavior, feel that they are slacking off on their duty if they don’t attend to a child’s every call for attention.
Dr. Jane Nelson, author of Positive Discipline, [Ballantine Books, 1987] addresses this issue on her website, positivediscipline.com. She says that all children need interaction, but some parents train their children to demand constant attention. Giving into every plea, deprives the child of the chance to learn self sufficiency and self confidence. Mom is deprived of time to work on herself or even household tasks. To help guide parents, she gives three points of advice.
- Create a routine: Plan time with the child but also time spent alone. It is ok to ask a child to wait for thirty minutes if he has one on one time scheduled later in the day.
- Permit a child’s feelings: If your young child does not like that you are taking fifteen minutes to pay the bills, allow her to cry. She has the right to that feeling and a need to express it.
- Have faith in yourself: If time you spend on yourself and household items is in balance with the time spent with the children, feel confident in asking them to wait their turn. Suggest an alternate activity, but do not drop the laundry and run to color, draw or read.
Making Child-free Time
There is no doubt that a child benefits from having mom at home, but moms can benefit from scheduled time for themselves. Often this occurs during naps or other pre-determined activities. Moms who devote endless hours to the whims of their children run the risk of exhausting themselves and losing patience with the children. Most stay at home moms know that a short scheduled break, while the children are otherwise occupied, can help them stay sane. According to Dr. Nelson, it can also help the children develop confidence in themselves.
 |
 |
