Making Mothers' Groups Work for New Mothers
How First-time Mums can Fit into a Parents’ Group
Aug 2, 2009
Family health experts and parenting gurus have said it often enough. Mothers’ or parents’ groups are good for the mental health and general well-being of parents, particularly new stay-at-home mums.
However, joining a mothers’ group can be rather daunting for introverted first-time mums who prefer the company of their old friends. New mums eager to make a mothers’ group work for them can use the following tips to learn to fit into a parents’ group.
Give Time for New Mothers’ Groups
First, check with baby health clinics, antenatal classes, parenting classes, community centers, breastfeeding associations or online mothers’ groups for new groups. Shortlist two or three groups and make it a point to attend their initial meetings. While some women quickly find a group that they fit into easily, others may have to look a little harder. Mums who feel like fish out of water within a group shouldn’t give up so easily. Give it time and attend a few more meetings.
Make the Effort to Befriend Other Mums
Having good friends in a mothers’ group will make things a lot easier. At the first few meetings, make the effort to befriend other mums. Smile and be cheerful. Talk to those who feel a bit awkward themselves. They’ll be happy to have someone to chat with. Break the ice by asking questions about their babies and kids. Mothers who’ve become regulars in their group should also always welcome new members and make them feel at home.
Ask Lots of Questions at Parents’ Group Meetings
Mothers’ groups serve as an avenue for mothers to seek parenting advice and share their experiences. Some mums will be more experienced than others. Take the opportunity to ask lots of questions, including seemingly silly ones. Chances are, the silly questions are questions that other new parents desperately want to ask as well! Likewise, don’t be afraid to speak up. What one mums need to say may just be what another mum needs to know about.
Keep an Open Mind on Parenting Issues
Women with diverse backgrounds, beliefs and lifestyles make up a mothers’ group. So there will be different views, approaches and solutions to the same childcare issue. Often, there isn’t a right or wrong way, just a different one. It’s best to keep an open mind on parenting issues and how other mums deal with certain problems. Don’t get upset when someone says that her ways are right and others’ aren’t.
Avoid Comparing Children
Parents with children of similar age often like to compare the children. Avoid doing that. All children develop and learn at their own pace. Some learn to walk, talk and eat on their own faster than others. That doesn’t mean they are smarter than other babies. Eventually, all healthy children will be able to do all that. Parents who keep comparing children will only plant seeds of resentment that won’t do anyone any good.
New or stay-at-home mums need to fit into their mothers’ group to truly benefit from it. To make it work, give it time and attend a few meetings before deciding whether it's suitable or not. Also, try to befriend other mums, ask lots of questions, keep an open mind of parenting issues and avoid comparing children.
Found this article useful? Read also Online Mothers’ Groups in Australia, Benefits of Joining a Mothers’ Group and Tips for Joining a Mothers’ Group.
References:
Doyle, Melissa and Scard Jo. The Working Mother’s Survival Guide. New South Wales: Allen & Unwin, 2007.
Freegard, Siobhan. How to be a Happy Mum: The Netmums Guide to Stress-free Family Life. London: Headline Publishings, 2007.
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