Having a new baby in the family can be unsettling for other children in the family. These older children will need to learn to share their parents’ attention. The best approach is to introduce the new baby way before it is born. Here are some parenting tips to prepare children for the impending arrival of their newest sibling.
Older Child’s Involvement during Pregnancy
An older child will be able to handle a new baby’s arrival if her parents involve her during pregnancy, says Carol Cooper, co-author of Your Child Year by Year [London: Dorling Kindersley, 2008]. “For example, ask her to help choose a name, let her feel your baby move and involve her in getting the new baby’s bedroom ready,” she writes.
Ownership of Baby
Let the older child know that the baby is his just as much as Mum’s and Dad’s, advises Dr. Miriam Stoppard, parenting expert and author of Questions Children Ask [London: Dorling Kindersley, 2002]. “Talk about a forthcoming new baby all the time as ‘your baby’ so that the child can feel that the new baby belongs just as much to him, but is shared with you as parents,” Stoppard says. This will also instill a feeling of protection and ownership before the baby is born.
New Baby isn’t a Buddy, yet
Avoid giving the impression that the older child will be getting a playmate the minute the new baby gets home. At some point in the future, that may be true. However, in the meantime, a new baby brother isn’t much fun. In fact, he can be annoying and demanding, with crying and dirtying his diapers as his favorite pastimes!
Life with a New Baby
Be honest and tell the older child that life will probably not be the same again when the baby comes home. Mum will need to spend a lot more time with the baby and she will need more rest too. Because of that, Mum may not be able to spend as much time as she would like to with the older child. However, ensure that the older child that he is still very much loved and Mum will spend as much time as she can with him.
Sibling Class for the Older Child
Sandra Hardin Gookin and Dan Gookin, authors of Parenting for Dummies [New York: Hungry Minds, 2002] suggest taking children to sibling classes offered at some local hospitals. “These classes give you a general idea of how your children may act with a sibling around and offer some things that parents can do to prevent them from being jealous,” they write.
Maintain Routines with Older Child
Once the baby is born, try to keep to the same routines and outings as much as possible. The older child will feel more secure and settled with familiar routines. Make the effort to spend time together with both children as well as with each child alone.
Introducing a new baby to existing children is an effort that should begin during pregnancy. Involving the older child during pregnancy, encouraging the feeling of ownership towards the baby, being honest about life with a new baby, taking the older child to sibling classes and maintaining old routines with the older child are some useful approaches to prepare the child for a sibling’s arrival.
Those who find this article useful may also like to read How to Manage Sibling Rivalry and Strengthening Sibling Relationships.
 |
