Improving Teacher-Child Relationships
Parenting Tips to Boost Ties Between Teachers and Students
Dec 24, 2008
It’s common to hear children complaining about their teachers at school. While many kids just have a habit of whining, some may actually have a problem getting along with particular teachers. Here is some useful parenting advice to manage the situation.
Listen to the Child
The worst thing a parent can do is to shrug off the child’s complaints about his teacher. Instead, parents should make time to listen to the child, says Sue Cowley, teacher and author of Getting Your Little Darlings to Behave [London: Continuum, 2006]. Once the child has someone to listen to him and share his concerns with, the problem will seem less important than first thought.
Reason with the Child
After listening to the child, parents should explore the situation rationally. Ask the child questions about what has happened at school. This gives parents some idea of the kind of classroom management approaches that have been used. Often, parents will discover that the teacher was only doing her job in a perfectly justified way. “In this case, talk to the child why his behavior was wrong and why the sanctions were deserved,” says Cowley.
Be Supportive of the Teacher
Try to support the teacher as best as possible. Remember that teachers often have the child’s best interest in mind and reprimanding a child is necessary to teach the class and keep the class organized. What is seen as being picked by the teacher is usually a case of the teacher laying down rules in the class. For that reason, Cowley cautions against siding the child if he complains about his teacher.
Understand that the Teacher is Human
Teachers make mistakes too and may sometimes be a little unfair to the child, particularly when they are busy and bogged down with too much work. It happens to everyone every now and then but probably doesn’t happen often to teachers who do their jobs well. Teach the child to accept that sometimes, things may be unfair but that’s part of life. “By helping him to understand this, you will help him to deal with the problem in a mature way,” adds Cowley.
Talk to the Teacher
If none of the above situations apply and you have reasons to believe that your child is indeed being treated unfairly, talk to the teacher directly. The teacher may be genuinely unaware of the negative feelings she has generated in the child and a private talk between parents and teacher will probably be able to straighten things out quickly.
However, if that approach doesn’t work, bring the matter to someone with more authority at the school, for example the principal or his deputy. After all, it is the school authorities’ responsibility to ensure that every student is taken care of.
A good teacher-child relationship is crucial as the child is likely to spend the entire school year with the teacher. If a child complains about his teacher, lend him a sympathetic ear and try to find out why he is unhappy about the teacher. Parents will usually find that the consequence the teacher gives out is justifiable. Also, teach the child to accept that sometimes teachers make mistakes too. Finally, if the matter is really bothering you, raise it with the teacher concerned or contact the school principal about it.
Those who find this article useful may also be interested in parenting tips on Overcoming School Refusal and Easing School Anxiety in Children.
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