How Parents Can Manage Children

Basic Rules to Help Kids Behave

Jun 2, 2009 Wei Yin Wong

Parents who are consistent, who work together as a team, disallow outside interference, communicate well with kids and keep their promises can manage children better.

Children who behave badly are not born, they are made. Their behavior and conduct are shaped by parents with few parenting and communication skills. So the onus is on the parents to learn some useful parenting tips to manage their children.

Here are some basic yet effective rules that parents can use to help kids behave.

Be Consistent With Rules

When parents are consistent with house rules, children will have something solid to follow. Say what you mean and really mean it. So parents should think carefully before they say anything to kids. Yes means yes. No means no. It’s that simple. Don't change rules without any good reasons. If something is not allowed, it should stay that way no matter what.

Parents Should Work together as a Team

This is an extension of the consistency rule. When parents work together as a team effectively, consistency is never an issue. True, most couples will have different views and approaches to tackle a problem child. After all, they were raised differently.

However, they must overcome their differences and find a middle ground that they can agree on. Only when they are on the same page can they manage their kids. Kids can be very manipulative. They won’t listen to Mum or Dad if both of them can’t agree on anything. Worse, they may pit their parents against each other!

Disallow Interferences From In-laws and Relatives

Many relatives, particularly mothers-in-law, are pretty adamant about how someone should bring up the kids. While well-meaning, these interferences can cause lots of confusion within the young family. Kids with Grandpa or Grandma backing them or spoiling them shamelessly will end up being ultra difficult to manage. Meddling from misguided in-laws and relatives can also strain the relationship between the couple, which in turn will affect their ability to work effectively as a team when it comes to managing children.

That's why couples should talk about the possibility of meddling relatives and be firm about disallowing these people from interfering with their parenting duties and rules.

Communicate Well with Kids

Parents need their own set of communication skills with children. They need to stay calm, talk in a firm and quiet tone, make eye contact with the child, truly listen to the child and acknowledge the child’s feelings when talking to him. When children know that their parents are truly paying attention to them, they will feel safe and reassured and therefore will talk more openly and honestly.

Keep Promises Made to Children

Parents must refrain from making false promises to children in the hope that they will behave better. A mum who promises her son a trip to the neighborhood park must take him there unless the weather does not permit that. Breaking a promise to a child is akin to breaking his trust in you. So always keep promises made to children. If unsure whether the promise can be kept or not, refrain from saying anything.

Helping kids to behave starts from the parents themselves. Parents must first be consistent and work together as a team. They should also disallow interference from relatives, learn to communicate effectively with kids and keep promises made to children.

Found this article useful? Read also How to Have a Good Relationship with Kids and How Children can Learn to Behave.

References:

Grisdale, Myra, Cater, Janet and Morton-Evans, Michael. Why Won’t my Child Listen? Sydney: Simon & Schuster, 2005.

Carrol, Deborah and Reid, Stella. Nanny 911. New York: ReganBooks, 2005.

The copyright of the article How Parents Can Manage Children in Stay-at-Home Parents is owned by Wei Yin Wong. Permission to republish How Parents Can Manage Children in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

Help Kids Behave by Being Consistent With Rules