Sibling rivalry and conflicts are common. Because of that, love between brothers and sisters is not something that will just happen. It has to be encouraged and nurtured. Parents should teach children to be loving and caring towards each other. For that to succeed, parents’ action should be part of the teaching. Here are some parenting tips to foster sibling love.
Encourage Hugs and Kisses between Siblings
Children respond eagerly to love and affection. So when their parents freely give out hugs and kisses to them, they are likely to be more affectionate towards their siblings as well. Praise the child each time she showers hugs and kisses to her younger sister. The younger child is probably going to follow suit. Constant encouragement will eventually tell children that showing love and affection is a good thing.
The arrival of a new baby will come as a shock if the older child isn’t prepared for it. That’s why it’s important for parents to slowly introduce the new baby during pregnancy. Involving the child in decorating the baby’s nursery, letting her feel the baby kick in Mum’s tummy, taking her to sibling classes offered by some hospitals, being honest about how life would be with the new baby and presenting a “special gift” from the baby to the older child when the baby is born are just some ways to introduce a new baby. Once the child gets used to the idea of sharing Mum and Dad, she is more likely to welcome the baby happily.
Teach Children to be Gentle
Show an older child how to handle a young baby. While a toddler or preschooler should not attempt to carry the baby, she can gently stroke the baby’s face, hair or arms. Praise her when she displays great effort in being gentle. If the older child is caught hitting the baby, don’t scream at her. She will take it personally and start feeling resentful towards Mum and the baby. The right thing to do is to take the child’s hand and gently stroke the baby with it while emphasizing the need to take extra care of the young baby.
Manage Sibling Rivalry Efficiently
One of the best ways to manage sibling rivalry is by being fair to all children in the family. Here’s how:
- Don’t practice favoritism at home.
- Don’t gang up with one child against another.
- Don’t pit one child against another.
- Don’t talk bad about one child in front of another.
- Don’t make comparisons between children.
Encourage Family Togetherness
Teaching family togetherness can also strengthen sibling relationships. Whenever possible, get Mum, Dad and all the kids involved in housework, trips to the park, cooking dinner, visiting the library and playing in the backyard. Reading storybooks about family togetherness will help as well.
Teaching siblings to love and care for one another will certainly bring love and laughter in the family. To foster loving relationships between siblings, encourage hugs and kisses, introduce a new baby gradually, teach children to be gentle with siblings, manage sibling rivalry efficiently and encourage family togetherness.
References:
Gookin, Sandra Hardin and Gookin, Dan. Parenting for Dummies. New York: Hungry Minds, 2002
Cooper, Carol; Halsey, Claire; Laurent, Su; and Sullivan, Karen. Your Child Year by Year. London: Dorling Kindersley, 2008.
Irvine, Dr. John. A Handbook for Happy Families. Sydney: Finch Publishing, 2002.
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