Easing School Anxiety in Children
Tips to Help Kids Overcome Worries About Going to School
Dec 11, 2008
Leaving the comfort and security of home for several hours a day can be a scary experience for some children. And this fear becomes apparent when some children are about to start kindergarten or primary school.
Being away from home means the children will have to handle many things on their own for the first time. And this could well lead to school anxiety. Fortunately, most children adjust to school life within a few weeks. But it never hurts to help reduce this anxiety before the new school term starts. Here are some approaches for parents to try.
Be Attuned to the Child’s Feelings
Children can be overly sensitive when they are stressed about something, including starting school. So parents should listen to the child and acknowledge his feelings regardless of how irrational or insignificant they sound, writes psychotherapist Diane Peters Mayer in her book entitled Overcoming School Anxiety [New York: AMACOM, 2008].
“Let him know that you are there to help him conquer his anxiety. Never make fun of, ridicule, scream at, punish or demean your child because of his fear,” she says.
Share Good Things about Schools
Tell the child that his school is a great place to learn new things and make new friends. It’s where he should start if he wishes to be a pilot, doctor or engineer when he grows up. Don’t give a false fantasy-like picture, though. Tell him about homework, timetables, playtime, recess and lunchtime. Be sure to mention there are rules at school and the teachers make sure the rules are followed so that everyone can learn and play in a good environment.
Attend Orientation Days for New Students
Some schools hold a series of orientation days a few weeks before school starts for new students to meet their new teachers and new classmates. Make use of these occasions. They allow children to see for themselves what school life is about. Get the child to make friends with other children in his class so that he won’t feel out of place when school starts. He may even look forward to it once he knows he will have friends waiting for him.
Bring Something Familiar to School
Most children will feel comforted when they have something familiar from home with them. Mayer suggests letting the child bring along a favorite toy, photo, picture book or any object that signifies home to school. Some kids don’t even need to hold these objects. Just the thought of having them close by inside the school bag is enough to soothe the fears.
Keep Goodbyes Short
On the day that school starts, keep your goodbyes short and sweet when the school bell rings. Assure the child that he will have a good time at school and that you will be there to pick him up when school is over. Be sure to be on time. Give him a quick kiss and a cuddle and quickly walk away.
Stay with the Child in Classroom
If the child is extremely tearful and refuses to enter the classroom, Mum should perhaps ask for permission to sit in a corner at the rear of the classroom for a short period of time. Her physical presence can be really reassuring. However, give a timeframe for that. Don’t linger for more than half an hour. Most kids will be quite okay on their own once they have something to occupy themselves.
Children are resilient by nature. Even those extremely anxious about going to school in the beginning will be able to settle in at school after a few weeks. Just give the child some time and all the support a parent can offer to ease leaving home for school.
To read more articles on starting school, check out Getting Ready for School, Overcoming School Refusal and How to Prepare Twins for Preschool.
