Burnout Management for Full-time Mums
How Stay-at-home Mothers can Avoid being Burned Out
May 1, 2009
Many full-time mums are overworked. Because they are not employed outside the home, they get the lion’s share of household chores. They are responsible for cooking, cleaning, minding kids, food shopping, meeting with teachers, planning family entertainment and driving the kids around. Some may also have to care for elderly parents.
It’s little wonder that many stay-at-home mothers are highly stressed, fatigued and depressed – all of which can contribute to burnout.
Signs of Burnout
Burnout management for full-time mums start by recognizing its warning signs. These include:
- Prolonged negative feelings that make a mother doubt her ability to carry out her multiple duties
- Constantly withdrawing from family and friends, easily agitated or overreacting to people’s casual comments
- Health problems such as aches and pains, colds, headache, insomnia and chronic fatigue
- Loss of interest in work, family or other enjoyable activities
- Substance abuse and unhealthy behaviors such as smoking, drinking or eating too much
If these signs are prevalent in full-time mum’s life, she will need to acknowledge having a burnout issue and take positive steps to avoid being completely burned out.
Reconnect with Family
One of the first things a burnout mum need to do is to reconnect with other people. “Start with your family. Set aside time to be with your partner and children,” says Kathleen A. Kendall-Tackett, author of The Hidden Feelings of Motherhood [New Harbinger Publications, 2001, adding that it’s a good idea to meet up with old friends. “It’s important that you reconnect with people who can give back to you,” she says.
Family therapist Steve Biddulph, author of The Secret of Happy Children [HarperCollins Publisher, 1998] writes that couples can reconnect by spending 10 minutes together alone after work in the evening. Mothers can also spend an hour of full-attention time with kids each day instead of hours of begrudged half-attention, Biddulph says.
Set Boundaries when Asked to Help
Full-time mums inevitably get many requests for help because they are deemed to be very flexible with their time. While there is nothing wrong with helping others, there should be some limits. Set boundaries when asked to help with something. Stop trying to meet everyone’s needs. Say “no” occasionally.
Seek Help with Housework
If there is too much housework, get help. Try sharing some household chores with the husband. If the kids are old enough, delegate some work for them as well. Help can also be found outside the home – trusted friends, neighborhood houses, occasional child care centers, playgroups, cleaning services and babysitters. There is nothing wrong with a asking for help when it is really needed.
Burnout is a common problem among many stay-at-home mothers. It may give a feeling of hopelessness to its sufferers. To manage burnout, first learn to recognize the signs of burnout. Then take steps to reconnect with family and friends, set boundaries when asked to help as well as seeking help with housework.
Found this article useful? Read also Depression Management for Stay-at-home Mums and Stress Management for Stay-at-home Parents.
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