When you quit your job, you gave up adult networking, conversation and stimulation. Can you beat the bored stay-at-home mom or dad blues?
Can your dream job be boring?
Of the 5.5 million stay-at-home parents in the United States, most of them say they want to be where they are, but many say they fight boredom, loneliness and a sense of isolation and disconnect from the world of working adults.
Being a stay-at-home parent – whether it’s a stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home dad – has its pitfalls, and one of them is remaining a smart, competent adult when your days are filled with cartoons, primary colors and easy readers.
If you’ve left your career to stay home with your children, take some steps to ward off boredom that can develop into depression and a dissatisfaction with what was your dream job: staying home with your children.
Schedule Regular Babysitting Times
If you’ve recently quit working and you previously had a babysitting arrangement, keep it or at least don’t cancel it altogether.
Just because you don’t have to go to work everyday doesn’t mean you won’t need to get out of the house without the kids.
Find a day care center that will agree to take your children once a week or so for a few hours. Or set up a babysitting trade with a friend or neighbor and take turns babysitting for each other. Use that time to shop, go to the salon, get together with friends and interact with other adults in some way.
Establish a Network With Other Parents
Getting together with other parents and children are good for both you and your kids. Playgroups can be as small, casual and infrequent or as large, organized and frequent as you want.
You can go beyond the simple playgroup and organize a parent-child book club or a support group that will put you together with other parents.
Get Involved
If you’re busy enough, you won’t have time to be bored. Volunteer at your child’s school, your church or in your community. Many organizations allow volunteers to take their young children along, or offer babysitting.
Stay Intellectually Stimulated
Keep reading good books, read the newspaper daily, get online and keep up-to-date with what’s going on, and turn the TV from cartoons to educational public television once in a while.
Stay connected with your coworkers and, so you can keep up-to-date with what’s going on in your field.
Consider Part-Time Work at Home
If you have a few spare hours a week, you may want to consider a work-at-home opportunity that will keep you in the house with your children. Look for a flexible job that fits your schedule and beware of work-at-home scams that promise big bucks. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Many stay-at-home moms find home party sales a rewarding work-at-home opportunity.
Take a Class
Taking a class is a great way to stay mentally sharp and connect with other adults.
“Whether you’re working on a masters’ degree or just learning a new hobby, taking a class is a great idea for a stay at home mom,” writes Kimberly Danger in “Intellectual Stimulation for Stay-at-Home Moms” on the mommysavers Web site.
The copyright of the article Bored Stay-at-Home Parents in Stay-at-Home Parents is owned by Diane Laney Fitzpatrick. Permission to republish Bored Stay-at-Home Parents in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
We are early retirees thrown away because we earned good salaries over the
years and greedy corporations discarded us and sent our jobs over seas. We
had Great kids for 19 years. Sent them to college and they gradually became
distant, then hateful and eventually left for good. Very lonely now and
tortured daily. Never even a call at Christmas. Its been four years. Only
my wife & I to cling to. Part of the master plan was to have kids and
grandkids and holidays together. Never will happen. Never deserved this.
Lonely not Bored. Your lucky if you are only bored.
Jul 5, 2009 12:18 AM
Guest :
I am feeling very bored. Tried to get part time job and its diificult
because of my age (40 above). I am very good at administrating jobs but
they are looking for the young ones and full time. So disappointed!!
Jul 17, 2009 10:10 AM
Guest :
YOUNG 25...stay at home mom of two. Cleaned everything, organized
everything, no friends anymore since we had kids, husband works OUT of
state and only home 2 days every 2 weeks. MY KIDS AND ME are getting bored
of the parks in the area. cant really afford to travel. what can i do to
keep me busy or even US busy....
Aug 17, 2009 5:38 PM
Guest :
Committed career sucide and left corporate america and BIG money to be with
our child. After 4 years of being at home I've lost my contacts and have a
social circle of women that only care about working out, tennis games and
shopping. I'm mentally dead and miss having co workers!
Sep 12, 2009 3:55 AM
Guest :
For moms who have no friends left, why? Did you commit one of the two sins
of the new mom: (1) constantly cancelling on your friends, using your
children as an excuse just because you didn't want to go out or (2) talking
about your children and nothing else? It's a brutal truth, but I've
accepted that to keep your friends, you need to NOT talk about your
children. NOBODY wants to hear about your children. Period. Read the
newspaper and talk about current news if you have nothing else to talk
about. And don't cancel on your friends. If you've committed to going
somewhere, go. Even if you're tired. Even if you're convinced that the home
will fall apart without you there to supervise because you're the centre of
the universe. You won't regret going out with your friends and you might
even enjoy it. If you're feeling isolated and lonely and bored at
home, how do you think your child is feeling (especially if they're not at
school yet)? Your child doesn't have the option of reading a book or
magazine or contemplating life or watching Oprah to pass the time. Children
don't belong at home in the company of one sad, tired, bored, adult all
day. They belong with other kids, and crave that, just as much as you
crave adult company. Put the kids into day care for a day a week, or find a
mom you can swap days with, and spend your day off trying to reconnect with
other parts of your life and do something unrelated to your kids. Early retirees: I don't know that it was right that you assumed your
children would be around to meet your needs in your older years. It
was inevitable they would leave the nest and start their own families, just
as you did. Sometime children learn to prioritise their children at
the cost of everyone else around them from their own parents. Is this
something that you might have done? If so, can you be suprised when you get
left out when the grandchildren arrive? Love with your children is a
one way street, and you should not give only because you expect to get
back. If you are having the same problem with all your kids then I think
you need to take a good look at yourself and think about whether you are a
good grandparent - do you add to your children's stresses by demanding
their time, or do you try to make their lives easier?
Sep 12, 2009 7:10 AM
Guest :
to the last guest, sorry about your layoffs...I hear you. But why are your
kids distant? There has to be some reason...why don't you try to reconnect
with them? I don't know your whole story I guess...
