Most kids go through an “I don’t want to go to bed” phase, and for many children, this protest is as much of their bedtime routine as brushing their teeth. Not only is a bedtime routine important, the activities used to facilitate winding down, called bedtime rituals, are crucial. Here are some ideas for rituals that can be adapted to suit any family.
One-on-One Time
Ensure that each of the kids has individual one-on-one time with a parent. Bath time can easily incorporate focused play with a parent, but on non-bath nights, play a game, work on a puzzle or just get down on the floor to play and give the attention they need.
Light Snack
Ensure that kids of any age have a snack before they go to bed. Cheese and crackers or whole grain cereal with milk are kid-friendly snacks that are light on the belly but give bodies what they need through the night.
Let Kids Arrange Their Room
After being told what to do by adults all day, some kids like to take control of their own space. Whether it is rearranging furniture once in a while or setting up stuffed animals in a pattern every night, this exercise of control can be very important for some kids. It may also be surprising to learn that there is a good reason for the change such as a draft near the window or the sound of the shower of which parents are not aware.
Quiet Activity
Encourage kids to read in their beds, write in a journal or listen to music. Place a lamp and table near the bed so it will be easier to stay relaxed when they are done. Reading together before bed is also a bonding and educational experience for kids of any age.
Sharing Time
Singing quiet songs is a nice way to end the day with younger children. As kids get older, consider writing in a journal together or telling them a dream to help focus on something pleasant before drifting off to sleep. Some kids may like a back rub or parents could write a message on their child’s back using fingertips giving the same relaxing effect as a massage.
Address Their Fears
Many kids have separation anxiety and fears or worries that only come out at night. Openly discuss these issues with them and help them find tools to ease these concerns. Some tools that kids can use are a special toy, a token object such as a photo or a stress relieving activity such as a brain dump.
White Noise, Night Lights and Other Night Time Comforts
Anything that helps kids get to sleep seems like a good idea at the time, but only begin the rituals can continue over the long term. Consider if getting up in the middle of the night to fill up a hot water bottle with warm water again or traveling with the fan to help make sleeping elsewhere easier for the kids makes sense for the parents too.
The rituals for each family are different but the key is to make things predictable to help calm kids down after a busy day. The extra benefit is that parents will rest easy about having a chance to share quality time with the kids at the end of each day too.
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