Are you the doormat on your street? Stop being the neighborhood babysitter, nurse and go-to girl, and be a more assertive stay-at-home mom.

It’s one of the blessings of being a stay-at-home parent, and at the same time, one of the curses: because you’re home during the day, it’s your house the neighborhood kids are drawn to when they need something, and it’s you they go to for their “mom fix.”

How do you ensure you’re not being taken advantage of, without refusing to help a child?

In most cases, working parents don’t purposefully take advantage of stay-at-home parents. Their days are full of problems to solve and you may seem to be the perfect solution for many of them.

If you’re the only stay-at-home parent in your neighborhood, you’re going to be the first one to be called for help on a multitude of things: when a parent is running late you’ll be asked to pick up from the bus stop; when a child is sick you’ll be asked to babysit so the parents can go to work; when a carpool is organized, you’ll be asked first o fill up your van; and when anything has to be done at school during the day, you’ll be asked to be there.

Before things get out of control and you find you’re working full-time as a volunteer neighborhood mom, set some ground rules.

Stop Telling People You Don’t Work

A new stay-at-home parent may start out being too generous. Thrilled with the time you have and your new laid-back schedule, you may hear yourself say, “I can do that! I’m home during the day.”

It won’t take long before everyone is taking you up on your offer.

Remind yourself and everyone else that you do work. There were reason you decided to stay home with your children (spend more time with your kids, live a slower and calmer lifestyle) and those reasons will disappear quickly if you’re running a charity daycare for working mothers.

Be Realistic About What You’re Offering

It may seem at first like it’s no big deal: You can pick up four kids from school and take them to soccer practice every Tuesday and Thursday. In reality, it takes more time than you thought. You sometimes have to wait for late kids, pick up forgotten items, and make arrangements for cancellations and schedule changes.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you may have taken on too much. Your commitment wasn’t written in stone. If necessary, call parents and make changes in your arrangement.

Set Some Rules

Depending on your situation, your neighborhood and your own home life, set some rules for yourself and everyone else. Write them down and say them aloud. “I’ll never turn away a child whose parents aren’t home; but I will not agree ahead of time to take care of more than one neighborhood child per day.” Or, “I’ll pick up kids who ask for rides home, but only if it’s bad weather and I have nothing better to do.”

Be Kind But Firm

If you were once a parent working outside the home, you know the story and can sympathize: “I can’t leave work early every time my son needs picked up from school.” “I don’t have enough sick days to stay home when the flu sweeps through our house for the entire month of January.” “I don’t know how the school expects parents to just show up in the middle of the day for every little thing.”

You can sympathize and you can be understanding. But you don’t have to solve the problem. Remember, those things are some of the reasons you decided to stay home with your children.

When asked to take on more than what you feel is fair as a friend or neighbor, nicely say that this is a tough situation and you’ll help out in an emergency, but you’re already busy with your own family.

Say Yes to Help

When working parents offer to help you out on weekends and evenings, say yes. Don’t be hesitant to take people up on their offers to help you, in repayment for your help during the day.